How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
