so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
