Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
