Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
