Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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