I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
