I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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