im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
