I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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