He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
