And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I need to stop coming to work sober
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
