so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
