all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We left the knife in your bed.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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