U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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