I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
