He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize