maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
