no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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