I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
