I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize