i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
