New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
