so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
