You smell like stripper and shame
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I deserve this hangover.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
