When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize