You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
