Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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