Whod you bang
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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