maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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