i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
