i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
