Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
