You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
