Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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