she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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