and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
