he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize