You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
