haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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