Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
