She said her name was "party"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
