He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
