youre lurking in front of me
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
