Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
