and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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