Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
