Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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