Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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