4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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