Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
