Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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