so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize