Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
