Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
