She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
