just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
