We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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