i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
