I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
