If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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