We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
