I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
