your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
