There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
