It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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