If i come over, it means nothing
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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