the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
my poor anus
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
